Saydee

I have been avoiding this post and the emotions it will stir for long enough. Our dog Saydee died last month. She did not take well to moving :( She was eating all the other dogs food here on the farm, and drinking water out of everywhere but her bowl. She started to loose weight and get sluggish. I took her to the vet and he said that she had an absess of some sort in her belly. He could do some costly tests to find out the origin, but the bottom line would be very costly surgery to fix any problem he found. He gave her an antibiotic to see if that would help and sent us home to make a decision that became easier by the day. She was sooo sick and weak. We decided it was time to part with a great friend. I held her that morning at a very kind veterinarian injected her with that pink serum that took her life. It was comforting to feel her labored breathing relax and slow to a stop. I held her and sobbed and sobbed. Ron had prepared a spot here at the farm the night before (in the pouring rain) and my dad helped me to lay her to rest there. We had her for about 9 years and she was truely a part of our family, a sister to the boys befor Sydni, an escape artist, and a wonderful friend.

I'm too excited to sleep!

Yes it is 4 in the morning and I can't sleep. This is not unusual for me, but today my mind is filled with excited thoughts instead of worried ones. We have been here in Cedar and at my parents for 2 and 1/2 months now. Not much has happened with our house in Layton or me finding a job, that has causes great worry for me. We have dropped the price on the house and had some neighbors do some painting. We decided to list it as a rental a few weeks ago and had 1 family look at it. Then nothing... Night before last we decided to drop the rental price a bit, and today we have 3 different people looking at it. I know it is premature but I am so anxious for all that this means! I have found a house here that I love and truely feel is where we are supposed to be. I seems to haunt me, I keep getting the mls listing sent to my e-mail and thinking about where I would put things and how I would decorate what. I know, silly huh?

We are headed back to Layton tomorrow. Our intent was to check on the house and do a few things to spruce it up, but we've decided we'd better take a trailor and get the rest of our stuff. I am anxious to see what happens, and hope and pray that we will make a good decision about renting. Praying for good renters, and good neighbors for our friends that we miss dearly. We are taking the kids out of school for a day (something we don't do lightly), Ron has a conference on Friday so we will drop him off at the U and head for Layton for 2 days. Yeah!!

Hey cheerleader

Sydni had her first experience as a Canyonview cheerleader here are a few pics

Yes that is her right in the middle of this picture, this is how she looked throughout the entire performance

She really was not very nice about going to the cheer clinic she clung to me for the first day and to Kylee the second. When it came to game time she was all excited, ran out onto the field with all the others, and then stood there with her finger in her mouth. I have to remind myself that she is only 3 and at least she ran out. Then I have to remind myself that I'd rather she not be a cheerleader anyway!

Faith

I know I have alot of past posting to do, but that will have to wait until I have pics to remember all we've done. That would involve finding the camera for which I just found the charger for in the storage unit today. So for tonight just a ramble. We were asked yesterday to speak in sacrament meeting in our "new" ward next week, by our bishop who is also my uncle. When he stated that the topic would be faith I sighed. I know that we are asigned these things more for our benefit than those we speak to, but really?? My faith is waivering right about now (can I stand up and say that in a sacrament meeting where all my family will be listening?) We are so sure that we did the right thing by moving here, but... why then haven't we sold our house for the original asking price and moved into the home of our dreams here, why aren't we accepting callings in a new ward where we will spend the rest of our lives, why haven't I landed that "dream job", why is my husband never here, why am I so worn out at the end of the day from watching over the kids so that they don't ruin anything here at my mom and dad's house, why did I have to hold our dog as the vet administered the shot to end her life? Why, why, why???

Well I guess it all has to do with the fact that I have more to learn about faith. As I have started reading in preparation for my talk the thing about faith that stands out most is the part where we are supposed to believe in the things we can't SEE. I have a hard time with that. I want to know all the who, what, when, where and why's about what is happening and what is going to happen. Right now I feel as though I am left out of the loop and I want back in! I've been reading a talk by James E. Faust on faith. He talks about all the amazing technology and knowledge that we have now but reminds that "man has never discovered anything that God has not already known". So for tonight I will sleep (or try to), knowing that my Father in Heaven has a plan for me! He knows who I am and all that I am worrying, and rejoicing about. In fact he worries and rejoices right along with me. So I will continue to go forward with all the faith that I can muster and try to learn all that I can along the way.

Troubled

A couple quick thoughts for the night...
1. I want to go home!
2. Worried about Carsen and why he got in a "fight" at school this week.
3. Wishing we could sell our house. (I know, I know, patience)
4. Tired of being sick! (I have a sinus infection. Started antibiotics for it today)
5. Contemplating possible jobs and which direction I should take
6. Proud of our kids for being so amazing through all this
7. Happy to be here with family! (went to my brother's bday party last night :)
8. Sad about all we left behind
9. Anxious about all that lies before us
10 *GRATEFUL*
11. Concerned about our sick dog Saydee.

I'll have to elaborate on some of these topics later, when my head doesn't feel like it is going to explode.

Made it

So here we are, back in good ole Cedar City! Kids are in school, stuff in storage, Ron settling in as the "new guy" at Canyon View, soccer, football and all the "normal" stuff. We are staying with my parents till we can sell our house in Layton, its cozy and testing all our patience but its working so far. We are so very grateful for the way things have played out so far, and especially grateful that the gospel is true no matter where we are.

Empty house, full heart

We had the most exhausting, but amazing day yesterday. We really didn't intend to move as much at one time as we are but when you ask the 37th ward for help, you get it! Cassie and Riley pulled a trailor into our driveway at 7am and by 7pm, it and 2 more were full, and the house was clean. I am going to miss these people who will do anything for one another. I'm sure we will find generousity elsewhere but this has been simply amazing. We will be heading to Morgan today for Brance's mission farewell and then on to our new adventure Monday morning. The kids have had a week full of friends, near and far. Kobe's friend Gabe came down from Idaho, and that was just what he needed. Carsen had a going away swim party with friends at Seattle's pool, lots of Addison time for Sydni, and Logan and Tevita lost together in some other world. I haven't even seen Tyson *except at meal time* all week :) I am forever grateful, and love dearly, our family here in Layton.

Geese

Just watched (and listened :) to a flock of geese fly over our house in Layton, crying again. That is one of the things I have loved and will miss about living here

We are moving!

Below is the e-mail that I sent out to our ward yesterday... it sums up what I've felt the last couple of days.

Hello all!

I know an email is very impersonal so I'm sorry, but I just don't have
the time (or the tears!!) to tell you all our happy/sad news. Ron
accepted a teaching job in Cedar City yesterday! Yes I know, we are
just a surprised as you are! I have never felt so many of the same
emotions at the same time before. I always thought about moving "home",
but NEVER thought it would happen, and this IS home for our family. He
interviewed at 10 and had accepted an offer my 11:30 and Heavenly Father
has testified to us that this is the "right" thing for our family. Not
easy, but right! We will live with my parents until we can sell this
house. We want the kids to start school down there, so that means a
quick move. We will pack and take what we can over this weekend and
then come up on weekends to clean the house and take the rest.

I want to thank you all for all that you have meant to me over the last
10 years (yes, it is 10 this week!!) Ron and I have really spent our
married lives here, brought 3 babies home from the hospital to this
house. I have "grown up" here in the sense that I was a very young
mother when I came, and have become a very young :) but wiser mother
thanks to all of you! I have learned to be a better mom, friend, wife,
sister and so much more from your examples. We are going to miss you
all terribly!

We love you all, and thanks for EVERYTHING you have done for and mean to us !!
Amanda

Weather

a humming bird in the neighbors flowers

We have had some crazy weather the last few weeks. Each afternoon the dark clouds, wind, lightning and thunder roll in, we get a few sprinkles and then they roll away again over the mountains. These pics are of the clouds after the storm yesterday. I've never seen anything quite like them. It almost looked like they were melting.

Change

I've never been good at change. We have experienced our fair share this last 2 years, none of it necessarily bad, but change non-the-less. Ron finished school in June and has been on the hunt for a teaching job. Just when we'd decided he wasn't going to get one, last week he got an offer. It is too far away but still the opportunity he's been looking for. He accepted a job teaching 7th - 9th grade math and computers at a charter school in West Jordan. The commute will be about 50 minutes, no we will not move. His diploma came in the mail yesterday, thus the above picture. I am gratful for the way that things have played out since he made the dicision to start just over 2 years ago, and I know that the Lord has things in mind for us the we don't necessarily agree with sometimes. I love Ron and I am glad that he will be doing something that he loves. This next month should be interesting at our house as we will start school (Ron as a first year teacher, Kobe at Jr High, and Logan in 1st grade), football, and soccer. I love my family and my life, and I am learning to love each kink that is thrown at us.

too cute

Today was another one of those days when Sydni was feeling especially cute. That happens more often than not! But today I grabbed the camera and we headed out for a photo shoot, here are the results.

Father's Day

I am very blessed to have and have had many great men influence my life! I'm sure I'll forget a few but, I should start with my dad since he came first. Then grandpa's: Stone, Melling, Loock. Uncles: too many to name! My brother. Then came those I gained when I got married, Ron of course! His grandpa Lovell, dad and brothers. Next, my brother-in-laws. Lastly my boys, I know they are just learning to be men, but they teach me so many things every day. These are men of patience, determination, faith, and love. I hope they all know how much they mean to me. There was a cartoon in the comics today that show 2 boys setting up the couch with a book, remote, foot long sub sandwich, pitcher of ice cold lemonade, pillow and blanket. They then said okay dad we got everything that you wanted are you really going to take a 24 hour nap? The dad replied "yes, that is all I ever wanted for fathers day!" I hope that all the men I love get to spend their day doing what they want to do the most!!

My dad post for today is of his unconditional love. I know he has not always been happy with the choices I have made, but I also know that he has always and will always love me! I'm finding as a parent that is one of the most important things that I can teach our kids, that no matter what I love them!

Work

So today my dad post is about work. My dad is probably the most hard working man I know. He has been able to do a little more playing the last 8 years or so, but he earned it! He grew up learning how to work on the farm. When he decided that he was going to be a brick mason he worked hard to learn to be one of the best. About 25 years ago he started his own business, Melling Masonry. It took lots of time, and sweat but his company became renowned throughout the state for quality work. He has built many of the buildings at Southern Utah University as well as in Cedar and all around southern Utah. There was a time when the Walmart corporation wanted him to travel nation wide to build their stores and warehouses ( he declined ). As the business progressed he spent more time in the office and less time "on the wall". Which I know sometimes he missed. He was not only successful at the laborious part of the business, but also the business part. He taught us to be persistent and do our best no matter what we were doing. I have found that in my life as a mother, wife, daughter, sister, nurse and friend (and what ever may come up that day...) work is key, and I am grateful to parents who taught me that early on in my life.

I love my dad day 2

I am so blessed to have a dad who taught me to love nature, outside, getting dirty, hunting, fishing ?? (would have liked it more if we ever caught anything :), really just being outside. Growing up on a farm meant spending lots of time outside weather working, playing, or just relaxing. We fed the animals, and hauled the hay okay, so I mostly climed the stack as the men hauled, or drove the truck once I was old enough to see over the steering wheel.

We went camping a lot. My dad loves to hunt so whether it was hunting season or not we were watching for animals of all sorts and their tracks. We shot guns and bows at targets mostly, but as soon as we were old enough we took hunters safety and got hunting licenses. The first thing I remember shooting is a pheasant... We were up at my uncle John Esplin's cabin hunting and visiting. My dad and I ventured out and came upon a pheasant, I don't remeber how far away it was or if there were more than one but I shot one. I pretty much took its head off. The thing I remember most about that is how proud of me my dad was. We headed back to the cabin and he told everyone what a great shot I was. The other adventure that sicks out is my Elk hunt.

disclaimer: this story is long and more for my journaling purposes than anyting else. Feel free to skip reading it. In short I shot an elk, a big one!!

This one is more recent Sept. 2005 I drew a Ponsagont Elk tag I think my dad was more excited than I was. I had the 4 boys at the time. Ron stayed home with the older 3 and I took Logan with me. Our neighbor Bob, Logan (who was one and a half) ventured south. There was no cabin then so we went to the trailor on my dad's property. My dad had been up there scouting and found that the elk were no where to be found. It was late by the time we got there so we just settled in to bed for the night. Dark and early the next morning we set off to see what we could see. We were headed northeast from the trailor looking and listening when we heard bugling (such an amazing sound!!) from the south west. We locked Logan in the truck, which I know probably would be reason for DCFS to investigate but... My dad took off on a dead run over and throught the woods while I tried to keep up. We followed the sound and ended up right back by the trailor when we saw them. 6 or 8 cows (female elk) headed up the ravine. We stopped to watch after a few minutes we heard a cracking noise to the right and turned to find a HUGE bull (male elk) standing off about 30 yards. I remember pulling up the gun and getting him in the sights and pausing to take a breath as my dad is hissing through his teeth SHOOT HIM, SHOOT HIM!! I pulled the trigger and we watched as he stumbled a few feet and fell. Anyone who hunts elk might know that this is not the norm, any of it. You usually spent days or weeks trying to find the elk then if you get close enough to shoot and do the animal takes off running and if you were a good shot you fing a blood trail and spend hours or days following the trail in hopes the you will find the animal. So my dream hunt (more like my dads dream) had just come true. My dad waited with me till he was almost sure that the elk was not going to get up. Then left me there with his 270 (my weapon of choice) and said shoot him again if he gets up, while he headed back to rescue Logan from the truck. A few minutes later Bob came following the sound of the shot. We were all a bit in shock I suppose for a bit. After we had checked out the amazing 6-7 elk we walked the 30 yards back to the trailer where we had breakfast and my dad called his brother Marvin to come up to help load the elk. After breakfast my dad and Bob "cleaned the elk" when Marvin came they were able to pull the truck down hill and using a couple of scaffolding planks and alot of muscle they drug the elk in the bed of my dad's truck. Just to give an idea of how big he was... They had to push and squeeze and finalge to get all of him into the truck. What an experience!! I'll never forget it. I think my dad still has copies of the pictures in his truck to show off.

Thanks dad for teaching me to love, respect and apprciate being outside no matter where I am! But especially at the farm and the cabin :)

Banana pancakes

what could be better???

eating them with Sydni!

I love breakfast, and always have. I think I get that from my dad. I think he has eaten 2 eggs for breakfast every day of my life, and probably his too. His eggs might be accompanied by pancakes, waffles, toast, or one of his favorites biscuits and gravy or steak (preferably elk:), but there are always 2 eggs. I love my dad and all the many things he has taught me. Maybe I'll try this week to post one or more things I love about him every day.

Today during our delicious breakfast, Sydni asked for a drink, I instinctively started to get the milk out. She said "no mom I want water" I replied "Oh I like to have milk for breakfast". To which she said "I like my milk with cookies".

Derby

Last month was our ward's pinewood derby. Once again we followed in the tradition of having a way cool car that was not so fast. Tyson is our only "cub" scout right now so only one car to build this year. This was truly Tyson's own design! What a fun night, a gym full of cheering boys (and their dad's) and popcorn (which was easier to clean up than I thought it would be :)

Split

Our ward boundaries were realigned on Sunday. This brings an array of emotions: Sad for those ward members who are leaving, happy to meet the new ones, and anxiety for possible new callings. Our bishop mentioned that of the leaving numbers there were 60 callings that would have to be replaced. Those include the Young men's Pres, Young Women's councilors, most of the primary presidency, relief society councilors, of course many teachers primary and otherwise, scout leaders and so on and so forth. I am currently a bear den leader and the Young Women's music coordinator. Ron is currently a sub in Primary. We will see what the next few weeks brings.

Summer so far

So I'm not really sure where the camera is (haven't really looked though) so I don't have any pics to go with this post. We are now into our 2nd week of summer and contrary to other mom's that I've heard I'm not ready for school to start. I love having my kids home! Last week we had sports camps for Sydni, Logan and Kobe, Tyson's is this week. Friday, Carsen and Ron went on a scout over-nighter to Camp Bartlett in Idaho where it rained and was very cold and muddy. Carsen and the other scouts had a great time, the dad's... not so much. It has been a rainy spring here so we are still playing "rain out" baseball and t-ball games. The kids have chores to do each morning. They really don't complain for the most part (it takes them forever to get them done sometimes). They have to finish before they get to play with friends, or read or really anything else.
We have only had one good day at the neighbor's pool so far. We hope that changes soon! We have a camping trip to the cabin and Echo reservoir planned with the Loock's and a trip to Cedar planned for the 4th of July.

We made it!

Through kindergarten that is. Logan's program was yesterday, they sang many cute songs and received a medal that they will add pins to each year at Heritage Elementary. Logan has learned a lot at school this year including how to follow the school rules , and be a good friend. He has also learned a lot at home this year including all the letters and numbers, how to tie his shoes, and how to read!! He is loving the Junie B. Jones books and reads all the time. The other day his friends were being mean so he just came in the house and read. He really loves it and is getting better all the time. We have loved Mrs. Piper she is very patient and kind! I asked him today what he is going to do now and he said, "well I guess just wait for first grade". We love you Logan :) below is a video clip from the program

Lesson

Our Relief Society lesson today was about patience. I have much to learn concidering this topic, but today my thoughts are these... My gram has a saying that she wants me to cut in vinyl for her wall it goes "Happiness is a journey, not a destination". I'd like to replace happiness for a minute with patience. No one is perfectly patient, but we can all strive to be better each day. I think as we do and as we practice being patient we will learn many things along our journey. Many of which may be more important than the actual thing we thought we were waiting for. I have many examples of patience in my life and I appreciate them all. Today I am especially grateful for my uncle John and aunt Edie Esplin. John has been very sick this last year, endured chemo and was physically knocked down over and over again. He underwent a bone marrow transplant last Friday and will be in the hospital for a while now. I've watched them both be strong examples of enduring and patience and many other things I hope to develop someday, and I pray that he will recover and know good health again.

Sticks

One afternoon I went outside to check on Logan and Sydni in the back yard. This is what I found

We have a big tree back there, and each time that the wind blows we loose many branches from it. She had taken those branches and put them through all of her belt loops as weapons. What a cute worrier princess she is! She was obviously very proud of herself :)

Arrow of Light

Carsen received his arrow of light at last month's pack meeting. Our ward has a fun tradition of painting the face of the scout as the scout master talks about the significance of the colors. Carsen has always loved being the center of attention so he was very excited. This night was also fun because the 11 year old scouts get to welcome the newest member of their troop. Kobe was still 11 at the time and was able to present Carsen with his new neckerchief and slide. Congrats Carsen!!

Birthdays

May is a month of birthdays at our house beginning with Ron's on the 2nd. It was a Sunday, Stake conference. He is now one year older and hopefully wiser thanks to all the school he's been attending. These pics are of him trying to teach Carsen to use the lighter, and singing to himself with us the Happy Birthday song. This year brought another season of Rowland Hall basketball, working towards his masters in Education at the University of Phoenix, working at the Utah State Tax Commission, coaching the kids in various sports, getting contacts, a few more gray hairs, and being a great dad and husband. I love ya honey!!

Go to sleep!

Bed time at our house is a ritual. Lately our ritual has been pushed back and cut short because of crazy nights full of homework, baseball, soccer, scouts, dinner and well everything. Last night I tucked Syndi in, turned on her music, turned off the light and kissed her. She then said "Mom, could you do one last chore for me?" I laughed, then asked her what that might be... "a drink please" so I got a drink for her, then sat at the end of her bed for a few minutes as per her ritual. Then told her goodnight and kissed her again, and headed to my bedroom. I hear her again "Mom can you do one last chore for me?" this time Ron laughed really hard! I said "only if that chore is to go to sleep in my bed!" so she said "okay Mom can you please go to sleep in your bed" oh how I'd love to hear those words more often! Love you Syd!

National Anthem

Kobe came home from school last week and said that his school was looking for someone to sing the National Anthem at their "olympics" He wanted me to volunteer... I said I'll do it if you'll sing it with me :) and he agreed. So this morning at Layton High, in front of all of his classmates friends, and parents (about 200 people) over the whole stadium WE sang! He was awesome!! Sang out loud and strong and didn't even hesitate. Of course I started out too high and couldn't reach some of the high parts but he carried us through. Above is a "video" don't watch, just listen. This was the easiest way I could think of to record us. I love that Kobe loves to sing and is learning to share that love with others.

Field trip

This is the time of year when it seems as though all the kids do at school is go on field trips. They love it and get so excited. Logan is in Kindergarten and has been so excited to go on a field trip to the Children's Museum at the Gateway. The other afternoon he came home and said "Mom our field trip is tomorrow I can't wait!" then there was a pause and question to follow, "Mom what do you do on a field trip?" I hadn't realized until then that this was his first field trip and first time to ride a bus. He was so excited because he knew he should be, but he wasn't sure what it was that he was excited about. After an explaination of what a field trip is he was more excited than ever and now he knows why he should be.

Breakfast conversation

Most mornings we have the usual arguing or disagreeing or playing some game with powers of Greek Gods that I've never heard of. Today as I sit here in the living room Kobe and Carsen are quizing each other on their vocabulary and spelling lists :) with out any prompting from me... I love my boys!!

Princess Room

We had a friend call and offer us a twin size bedroom set. That in turn opened a "can of worms" called redecorating Sydni's room. She had been alone in the upstairs bedroom for some time now. All the boys have migrated downstairs... But the walls were boring white, with no curtains, and all of Tyson and Logan's clothes and dressers were still in there. I decided if we were going to make a change we (meaning ME) might as well empty the room and paint. Truth be known I really do love to paint I just don't love to move furniture, or tape or stop to go take someone to pracitce, or go to work, or to fix dinner :( But 48 or so hours later Sydni had a new room. She loves it, waking up every morning to tell me how beautiful it is and how well she slept in her princess bed.

Pink Popcorn tree

Sydni has been singing "Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree" in her primary class. So that means noticing every "popcorn" tree as we drive anywhere. She must have me trained because I was dropping something off at our neighbors house the other day and notice the perfect popcorn tree! Perfect because it was short, and it was PINK! So, later that night we took a walk around the block to see it. Here are pics, the first one was just one of those mornings when she thought she was especially cute...

Dinner conversation

Tyson: "Well I have good news, I won my game! (soccer game in the snow 8-5)
Logan: "Well I have bad news about my dinner!"
Me: "What is your bad news Logan?"
Logan: "Well there is this burnt crusty part that YOU are going to make me eat before I can have more hot chocolate!"

Too busy...

I keep thinking that I am going to take the time to catch up on all the posts I would have liked to have made over the last few months, but today I decided that if I wait the time will never come. So I'm just going to start from now and if I have extra time later I will backpost...

Tonight Ron and I took the kids to Surf and Swim for FHE. Kobe and Carsen are going to compete in a triathelon this weekend and we thought we'd better make sure that they could still swim. Of course they can and we all had a great time, our kids are fish! At one point in the evening Ron and I were sitting on the side just watching, it is so much fun to just watch our kids interact with each other. The boys would all gravitate in their different directions for a while but there seemed to be a common force that pulled them all together every 15 minutes or so, Sydni. They would all come back to check on her and play with her in the shallow water for a bit and then the cycle would repeat... There was one point where she was standing there circled by the 4 of "her boys" that was so sweet. I love my kids and husband and the opportunities that we get to leave the rest of the world behind to be together!

FAMILY

While we were together on new years day my mom wanted pictures of all her family together. We are standing in front of the old grainery that is next to my mom and dad's house. We are all married now and my parents have 8 grandkids (yes 5 of them belong to me).